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Monday, August 16, 2010

A CHRISTIAN THEOLOGY OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY.

Having a GREAT Marriage

For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage
12 Hours to a Great Marriage: A Step-by-Step Guide for Making Love Last Making Marriage Work The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships

There are certain qualities that are part of every great marriage. The first letters of these five qualities spell the word “GREAT.” Let's review these qualities.

“G” Is for Good Communication
Covenant Marriage: Building Communication & Intimacy The Ten Commandments of Marriage Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love (New & Revised)

Communicating well with your spouse is absolutely crucial to having a great marriage. Communication is the way you let your spouse know what you are feeling and what you need from him or her. When you listen carefully, you are showing your spouse how important he or she is to you. When you talk with each other, make sure you give each other your undivided attention, make eye contact, and use good timing. If you and your spouse communicate well, you will be in the best position to fully appreciate each other and solve your differences.

“R” Is for Real Partnership

The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work Sacred Marriage Participant's Guide: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?

A marriage is a partnership and takes teamwork. When you are part of a team, the success of the team is always more important than your individual success. Make sure you support each other and avoid blaming each other when things go wrong. Take time to work out your differences together. Remember that it's more important to develop a solution than to prove a point or to win an argument. Your partnership is your first priority.

“E” Is for Effort
The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage

Effort is what makes a relationship work. You cannot have a good marriage without putting in the time and energy to make it work. Many people think a good marriage should not take a lot of energy. Nothing is further from the truth! A great relationship is great because both people put in their complete effort to make it work. Make sure to give your marriage the time and energy that it deserves. Investing regularly and consistently in your marriage will be the best investment you will make in your entire life!

“A” Is for Adaptability

The Marriage You've Always Wanted Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs God Bless This Union Marriage Cross

Soul Mates
When things are not going as planned, sit down with your spouse and try to work out a new solution. You will feel closer to each other by trying to make the best of a difficult situation.
Being flexible is so important in a marriage. You know by now that things do not always turn out as you planned. The fuller your life is, the more things can go wrong! Perhaps the restaurant that you had your heart set on going to Saturday night is booked. Or maybe your spouse has no interest in saving money for the car of your dreams. If you figure out ways to make the best of a situation, then you will be a happier, more satisfied person, and you will have a better marriage, too!

“T” Is for Total Commitment
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It How to Save Your Marriage Alone A Happy Marriage: A Novel

Remember that you need to stay committed to your relationship through good times as well as bad. When you are 100 percent committed to your marriage, it will be much easier to be there for your spouse. If you feel like walking out of your marriage whenever things get tough, you will be undermining your relationship. But if you always stand by your spouse through thick and thin, you will be making it clear that you are completely committed to him or her. When both of you are committed to each other, you will give each other a wonderful sense of security.

REASONS WHY MARRIAGES FAIL
I Don't Want a Divorce: A 90 Day Guide to Saving Your Marriage The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy (Norton Professional Books) The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships

All married couples are wishing for a happy and long lasting marriage but unfortunately a lot of marriages end up in divorce. The increasing divorce rate is a sad reality that you will sometimes wonder why most marriages do not last. What are the reasons why marriages fail?

There are many reasons why marriages fail but here are some of the common reasons:

COMPATIBILITY ISSUES.
We Can Work It Out: How to Solve Conflicts, Save Your Marriage (Perigee) 12 Hours to a Great Marriage: A Step-by-Step Guide for Making Love Last

You will normally hear that couples filed for divorce due to irreconcilable differences which is a proof that compatibility is very important if you want a long lasting marriage. Although no two people agree all the time, couples should find themselves compatible most of the time. Disagreement is a normal part of any marriage but constant dispute can get in the way of intimacy. Incompatibility is one of the reasons why marriages fail.

UNWILLING TO FORGIVE.
Courage to Love...When Your Marriage Hurts
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy (7th Edition)

No one is perfect and people commit mistakes including your spouse. If you are unwilling to forgive your spouse, your marriage will eventually fall apart. Growing anger, resentment and blaming are some of the reasons why marriages fail. Harboring negative feelings and lack of forgiveness can totally damage your marriage.

EVADE REALITY.
Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage: America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

One of the reasons why marriages fail is the avoidance of facing reality. There are couples who pretend that they are still okay and the relationship is flawless to maintain a perfect public image when in fact their marriage is unhappy and troubled. Failure to recognize and accept the issues in your marriage can make the situation worse. The first step in saving a troubled relationship is facing reality and recognizing the problems in your marriage. If couples keep pretending that the marriage is not in trouble, nothing will be solved.

LACK OF COMMITMENT.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate Relationships in a Changing Society: Intimate Relationship in a Changing Society Intimate Relationships, Marriages, and Families

People with commitment issues will find it hard to keep a long lasting relationship. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and one of the reasons why marriages fail is the lack of commitment. Devotion or dedication is important if you want to have a successful marriage and if you have commitment issues, it can be very hard to keep the marriage intact.

UNWILLING TO COMPROMISE.
THINK Marriages and Families

Disagreements do happen and if couples are unwilling to compromise during arguments, the marriage will eventually fall apart. It is important to know how to meet in the middle and compromise.

LACK OF FUN AND EXCITEMENT.
God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation
Ethical, Legal, and Professional Issues in the Practice of Marriage and Family Therapy (4th Edition)

Couples should add spice and excitement in the marriage to avoid boredom. Doing the same thing everyday can make the relationship dull and lifeless. To break the routine, couples need to get away from the norm once in a while. Lack of fun and excitement is one of the reasons why marriages fail.

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