Get tips and advice to improve your home and change your lifestyle.

Thursday, March 29, 2012


A person's childhood plays a major role in shaping his/her personality. Developing emotional intelligence in children now will help them build a rational thought process and make decisions in future. It can save your child a lot of trauma caused by imprudent actions later. Also, emotional intelligence helps the child to understand his/her skills, abilities and capabilities better. It contributes to the child's rapid psychological development in a positive direction. Hardships are a part of life and an emotionally intelligent child is better equipped to deal with them. They will be able to understand themselves as well as others and become sensitive to feelings.

We live in a world now where it is not sufficient just to get good grades. Human intelligence is not limited to the knowledge of books any longer. The world is no more bound by distances and the virtual world allows us to interact with our counterparts spread across various geographical locations. It is very crucial to a child's growth and development into an emotionally healthy child by promoting emotional intelligence in them right from their childhood. Such individuals also perform well in their careers, become successful and even become valuable employees to companies, when employed. Here are a few ways to help you in developing emotional intelligence in children.

Ways to Develop Emotional Intelligence in Children

Encourage Reading: Yes, I did say that knowledge is not limited to books. But, it all depends on what kind of books you are getting your children to read. Children are mostly inclined towards reading stories. They all help in making your children morally strong by subtly introducing them to a variety of life experiences. They also get to understand different perspectives of people and how to deal with diverse situations that may face in future. Books highlight negative and positive attitude and behavior of people with different personalities, while polishing their language skills.

Participation in Extracurricular Activities in School: It helps in real-life interaction of your kids with others of the same age and promotes emotional intelligence amongst them. Extracurricular activities also help your children to express themselves and deal with their emotions. It brings about self-awareness as they discover new aspects of their own personality. Also, it brings healthy competition and encourages your child to polish their skills. Such children grow up to become extroverted and have a flare for public interaction.

More Play Time with Other Children: At home, after your child comes back from school, encourage him to go out and play with other kids in the neighborhood. Playing in an environment away from school also helps them ease up. It is an unregulated environment and behavior is not monitored unless parents intervene. This is the time when children exhibit their true nature and attitude. They learn to look out for themselves. A playground is an unstructured social setting where relationships are based upon interaction with those around the child.

Involve Children at Home: Involve your children with family activities. It is a common misconception that children should be kept away from issues involving the family and the household in order to protect them or not put any burden on them. You may be alienating the child unknowingly. Involve them in decisions like what to buy from the supermarket on a grocery budget, even for the big purchases like a car or a new television set, ask their help to make sweets for festivities, take care of the dog or help in cleaning the kitchen. It brings a sense of responsibility among them.

Join Hobby Classes: This is the best thing you can do to make your child happy by encouraging them to pursue and learn their interests. They will be grateful to you while they learn something different from what they are taught at school. They will become more enthusiastic towards learning and it will be a stimulating experience to try out different things as they grow up, further enriching them as individuals.

Encourage Children to Talk: By giving your child the freedom to express himself around you and other family members, you will ensure that there are no negative feelings in your child's heart towards any situation that may occur even outside home. It will keep you aware of the daily developments in your child's life.

Reward Good Behavior: What if your child picks up a negative attitude before he/she start showing any positive characteristics? If your child seems introverted and has a lack of enthusiasm for participating in other activities that promote emotional intelligence in kids, you need to spend more time with your child to understand the problem. They may be being bullied by other kids, they feel disconnected to the environment or maybe feeling shy. You need to have the talk with your child and help them deal with such issues. Motivate and reward them for showing good behavior by buying tickets for the local circus show, a trip to the annual fair, a piece of chocolate for cleaning their room, a new bicycle for good grades or extra time to watch their favorite television show.

Reprimand Bad Behavior: If your neighbors or your child's teachers are complaining about your child for exhibiting rude or harmful behavior towards others, it is better to take control of the situation now than regret later. You must punish them for showing your unhappiness towards such behavior. You can punish them by first having a talk without scolding them to explain that such behavior will not be appreciated. Show them the other side of the picture that they fail to realize. If that doesn't work, you may resort to tactics like having nobody in the family talking to the child until he/she realizes the mistake and promises to be better in future, take away the luxuries that they may have enjoyed till now like watching television, going out to play with other kids or having dessert after dinner. Do not be too harsh that they start to resent you as well.

It is important to help in developing emotional intelligence in children so that you can assure an emotionally healthy and satisfying childhood for them. It will help them protect themselves by acting rationally in difficult situations when you are not around. They develop abilities to reason out and to think logically, which helps them in the later part of life to become successful individuals. It ultimately depends on your parenting as to how to raise emotionally healthy children. Emotional intelligence helps your children to deal with threatening situations, God forbid but say for example, a stranger may have bad intentions towards your children, but your children will pick up the vibe immediately and get out of the situation before any harm is caused to them. They also learn to help others around them, show compassion and respect for other human beings. They will also co-operate with you and build a healthy parent-child relationship.

Family Life and Sex Education Resource Center: TEACHING KIDS TO MAKE GOOD CHOICES

Family Life and Sex Education Resource Center: TEACHING KIDS TO MAKE GOOD CHOICES


Are you a parent who gives in to your child's demands, even though your kid is only a year old? Stop before you go any further and regret your pampering later in life, when your child becomes spoiled for choice.

Start Early: Don't Let Them be Spoiled for Choice
Kids apparently find a way to get things done according to their wish and being a parent, you should be wary of their demands. Begin teaching your kids to make choices early in life, it will help save you from pesky teenagers in the future. Making decisions should be taught when the child learns how to walk; in short, as soon as the child learns to stand on his/her own feet and talk. Your child will respect you more if, as a parent, you teach him/her to differentiate the right from the wrong. Remember, your child is an individual and sooner they realize their responsibilities, the better.

Simple Things Matter
Your child will grow up to be a mature individual, capable to make the right choices, only if you as a parent, will allow them to discern the right from the wrong when they are small. Teach your child the importance of making decisions by setting the right example. Explain the difference between a good choice and a bad one and support it with your actions. Nothing beats a reward; not necessarily material things but a simple pat on the back can do the trick, especially when they follow your instructions well. Think from the child's perspective, you wouldn't want someone constantly bickering over you about your choices, would you?

Learning from Mistakes
Children will be children and are bound to make mistakes; chances of your child learning to make the right choice through their faults is high, as long as you take time to make them realize that their actions are wrong. Be patient and compassionate about their choices, they might come to you asking for help in deciding, it's invariably your duty to guide them well. Ask your child questions instead of simply burdening them with suggestions. Besides, if giving them a choice allows them to learn and gain a sense of control, then what's the harm?

Responsibility Comes from Doing
Imagine if your parents never permitted you to enjoy the freedom of choice, and restricted your every move, would you have turned out to be a responsible citizen? If the choices that you made in your childhood have molded you to be just who you are, then why hinder your child's ability to take up responsibility. Give your child an option to choose from, make it a point to consider his/her views as well. Taking up responsibilities like helping out in household chores, or caring for pets will enable your child to develop self-worth and a sense of contribution.

Be Compassionate
Your child will develop his/her ability to make good choices if you as a parent genuinely support and encourage your child. Positive encouragement received from an elder, puts the child in the right stead to make a correct decision. Do not judge and doubt your child on one wrong choice, for as most grandparents say, listen with an empathetic ear and judge with a compassionate heart. It is advisable that you encourage positive friendship and choices, and make them aware about negative choices and their impacts.

Learning by Imitating
Have you ever observed your child closely? If you have, then I'm sure you might have noticed your child's inclination to imitate every action performed around him/her. Your child learns more from imitating than from any other source. Be prudent in your actions, your child is observing every move you make and every decision you take. Your child will learn from you, and your choices will definitely affect his/her future choices; besides making good choices will only help develop your child's character. Think twice before you ask your kid to lie on the phone to your boss, he/she might do the same one fine day and no guesses who will be at the receiving end!

Love Unconditionally
Finally, do not forget to love and trust your child and his/her decision-making powers. If you put a lifetime in trusting your child, in making the right decisions, the possibility of him/her making a right one is a surety. Love your child unconditionally, there is no greater way to teach your child to make good decisions than to say you love and trust his/her decisions. For obvious reasons, any choice that you offer your child has to be one that you genuinely support. Children can be rash and short-sighted in their decisions but with a bit of precaution and help from your side, they can surely develop their decision-making prowess. Besides, they need a guiding hand and an opportunity to learn, even if it is from their own faults and shortcomings.